Friday, May 02, 2008

Enlightenment #4: Rach can't say Goodbye

Varry Hard, I tell you.
Either I find it hard to actually say the bubbyes or I can't let go.

Saying goodbye is odd. I stay stone-faced, afraid to let the emotion show. Which is odd as it is. You'd think courtesy calls for a little emotion on the face. I'm sad that you're going away. No, really. Of course I feel something. Not exactly tragedy befallen, but I get it! So I become uncomfortable, and then begin asking meaningless questions like 'how are you going to manage there' and 'spoke to the others'? And I forget the important stuff like contact information. Which i'd debate the importance of, considering I don't really make the effort to keep in touch. My keeping in touch with old friends on chat is limited to
they: Hey what's going on?
me: Nothing much. What about you?
they: {replace text with relevant story}. How's work and all?
me: Good, going on.
they: Anything interesting happening lately? How're the others {names of Common Friends here}?
me: Haven't spoken to them much lately. but yeah, guess everyone's doing fine.
{more uninformative answers here from yours truly}
(bleah.) See how interesting a chatter I can be??
And thus i try ending the goodbye process as soon as possible. Keep in touch, Take care.

And then there are the tragedy befallen goodbyes. Here I just refuse to let go. No no no. Sigh. Opposite ends of the spectrum. Clinging on to old memories Rach. What is it about old times that makes them always seem so good? At what point do all the painful memories get wiped out from the thing we call nostalgia?
Howzabout I say ok, this was good till now, now I have a chance to hit Refresh, and jump to the next stage without obsessing over the previous. A chance to do something different.

We live, we learn.


Vinni said...

:0 so very true! its funny, i usually face this with people i know most. lots of times, i have ended up speaking to people for hours i have usually spoken to in college or when they were around. its funny :)

Anju said...

hehe... that's funny. I did a post on this a while ago and it's still true. "What's up?"... "nothing much" is a sure sign of a conversation headed to the town called: Let's-keep-in-touch-yeah-right!

WnG said...

There are so many people I run into, do small talk, and conveniently remember not to take phone numbers. After all the social networking sites we all belong to and don't keep in touch, a phone number is a mockery of intention. I find that I can't connect to so many people when we long back promised to each other to be in touch, never forget, blah blah... I think with time, we grow up; out of shoes, out of old mindset and old set of friends. We leave our friends of old with a particular image, and time spells a new image which is harder to take in, hence the discomfort, I guess. But there are those really good friends you will always cherish, like a special badge from school, or run down soft toy. And saying bye never seems hard with them, because it isn't a "bye" to anything that will always stay.

Bit long of a comment. :)