Saturday, July 29, 2006

Unrequited love

Wikipedia describes unrequited love as the love that is not reciprocated, even though reciprocation is deeply desired. This can lead to feelings such as depression, anxiety, and mood swings such as swift changes between depression and euphoria.

There must hardly be anyone in this world that hasn’t fallen prey to this most innocent yet heartbreaking phenomenon. There are no frills. You fall for someone; they don’t love you back, the same way. There’s no escape. There’s no magic pill. In the rarest of cases, you can try your best to win their love. But even that tiny little ray of hope is blocked out when the object of your love begins to love someone else. The only thing that you can, and must do, is move on. But it is painful.

Someone has even said, ‘True love is the unrequited kind’ - a truly brilliant adage that must go to the Quotable Quotes next month. There is nothing as glorified in the mind as the love you had which was not reciprocated. In the free reign of one’s own thoughts and imagination, the love becomes the one love that did not get its due, the one love that you were meant to have, the one love that would be The One, and that you must now be left to live a life of loneliness, now that you don’t have it.

And there is nothing as amusing as these very same thoughts when you fall in love with another person. Which always happens. Well, almost. That is unless you are deluded enough to believe that there’s no one else in the world that fits the bill. Which you almost always are, immediately after realisation of unreciprocated affection :)

The question now is why. Why does this happen? I’ve always believed there is a reason for everything that happens. Not as in destiny. But more as in what happens now does have a meaningful impact on the future. And therefore one day we will have meaningful answers for the unexplainable that is happening now. Must we all go through this process so we value the love we do find one day? So we treasure what we have, because we know what it is like not to have it? Maybe. But it is painful. Maybe its nature’s way of avoiding potentially disastrous relationships. But that’s really not fair, is it? There’s heartbreak involved anyway! So what should happen? Maybe we should all be born stamped to love one person who is again born stamped to love just you. :) That is indeed utopia. Or maybe not. Nature has its mysterious ways of working out just right in the very end. If you wait till then, that is ;) …

11 comments:

Vivek said...

Nicely put, I couldn't agree more, except for your idea of what would be a Utopia. But then maybe that's why there is no Utopia, because we all have our own ideas about what our Utopia should be like.

I'd like to add another dimension to your thesis - the Dilemma faced by the person who chooses not to reciprocate; let's call him Joe. Joe is not a mean person, Joe is in fact sensitive to the other person's feelings. But, inevitably, he will be thought of as a mean, stone-hearted, insensitive person. Why? Because he made the choice of not reciprocating - a reasonable choice. But he doesn't want to be the "bad" guy, because, say, Joe himself has been a "victim" of unrequited-love, and he knows how bad the other person is feeling. But he can't do much, anything he says will somehow smell of arrogance, and his explanations will sound patronizing.

Maybe it isn't as bad as not having your love reciprocated, but it is a dilemma Joe has to deal with; and somehow in the big picture, everybody tends to forget about good 'ol Joe's dilemma. Just my 2 cents, for him (or her).

Rach said...

I couldn't agree more. Joe is indeed between the rock and the hard place, simply because he has a conscience, and nobody empathises with him. If only I had remembered to write about him. Darn.

WnG said...

glad to have bumped into ur profile on orkut by chance, even gladder to discover a great writer. profound! i had a similar post (still have on draft)! sheer coincidence. but yeah. how different is unrequitted love from an obsession? it doesnt go away. it just eats away. and its not possible to get over it.... can say this having been on both sides of the coin (if i can call unrequitted love a coin).

most of our good ol' bolly movies weave around the triangle. as far as we are out of the circle (excuse my changing the geometry. circle seemed more apt here ;);)), we cant relate to it. but love gets us all. in the end.

ps: incidentally joe resembles me so much!!! omg!! :o

bhagavathi said...
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bhagavathi said...
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bhagavathi said...

great article. ur views r very strong.liked ur mind set.But would like to say that if u love some1 u dont except something or even reciprocation in return. U except then that according to me it is not true love. LOVE is a pure feelin that finds joy by givin without exceptin returns, wld'nt call it sacrifice but if u love some1 u wil find happiness in their joy. And ya joe is emotional (fool)to refuse once love coz he was rejected by another. his choice might be reasonable but d way he convays it, wil bridge the gap n leave no hrd feelings(all a game of mind,if he is pragmatic that is)

dipendra said...

Very nicely put.Did'nt know u thought like that..

rv said...

Your blog says a lot. I read the article in wikipedia which was quite fascinating. But there is a point that such a love is just an infatuation. Not necessarily, right.

Also, what prompted you to write on such a topic ? What was the particular inspiration ?

kb said...

hi..a very neatly expressed view about a very common thing that occurs to everyone..But when we look for answers as to why it should happen to us..there is only one reason which time gives and it almost yells after some time about how unsuitable the relation would have been..and also there is no end to positive thinking.:-)

Manju said...

The last paragraph "..Must we all go through this process so we value the love we do find one day?.." expresses a very strong desire to see the silver lining, a silver lining that may never come. It is, but wishful thinking that hopes one day one's love will be reciprocated. Life does not come with the promise of the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel...But i guess it is this wishful that drives one to get ready to have one's heart wrenched out... again.

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!