To do or not to do

What do you do when a beggar begs you for money at a traffic signal? I know a lot of people who have a strict anti-begging stance and will not give money ever. There are other people who always give. Me, it depends on my mood. When I feel s/he seems sincerely unable to make a living otherwise, I give. Else, I don't. Of course, I don't always analyze like that. Many a times it also depends on how much accessible change i have.

So one day, at a traffic signal, there was this man selling boxes of facial tissues. The easy-pull boxes that people generally keep in the car. I don't recall whether we had some in the car already or not, but not buying atleast a box from the man, made me feel terribly guilty that day. Here was a man, who was actually working for his living. I could easily afford that one box which would have probably made his day, may not have, but it would have contributed to hard earned money. And I had a use for the product. But I didn't buy them. And I drove on ahead. And felt guilty. And then in due course of time forgot about it.

A few days back at the same signal I saw a man selling the same thing again. I did not know whether it was the same person, but here was my chance to work off the guilt of that earlier day. Then I saw that there were two of them. So I asked the guy standing at my car for the price. Three for a hundred, he said. That was a tad too much. I asked for just one. He gave me the emotional rigmarole, as a result of which I ended up buying two boxes for 60 rupees. All this while, the time spent in bargaining, haggling, fishing out for money, fishing out for the change, was enough for the signal to change colour to green. The man behind me started honking incessantly (see this for more on that) but I was helpless till I received my change. This was when the second guy realised he had a chance. I drove on (while the signal was still green) with him following me by the window, till the signal turned red. Meanwhile, honker behind me gets stuck in the second round of the signal, and is presumably (and understandably) heaping curses on me. Seller 2 wished to sell me more boxes. I told him I couldn't buy any more. Emotional rigmarole again then. He told me how seller 1 had now got his boni (first income of the day) and that he would also get his if I bought some. I fell for the tale within a few seconds (we're talking traffic signal cycles here.) Bought one more box from him for a 30. He asked me to buy another and this time I gave him my piece. I told him that even I worked for my money. It doesn't come easy. He didn't want to hear more. This time when the signal turned green I was ready to move. I gave way to the guy behind me, who in turn gave me the dirtiest glare he could.

At the end of it, I had mixed feelings about having helped someone (in a good way) and having been vulnerable enough to fall for all that they said. I could have done my bit with buying just one. I wished to give them the benefit of doubt. But I couldn't say. They'd probably had their boni and much more by that time of the day. But I couldn't say. I now have 3 boxes in the car. I will eventually use all of them so it's not a waste. I looked at the price on the box (late, I confess). Rs. 50. I wonder what I'll do the next time around. What would you do? Continue buying? Buy more? Buy less? Never buy again?

And then there were none.

"The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank."

I'm thankful for a lot of things in my life. To whom, I can't say. Why things are the way they are, I can't say. While the mind wrestles the point of whether I must believe in the religious entity that my parents genuinely believe in, and to their credit, have never forced me to believe, a part of me wishes that life, in all its glory, wasn't so purposeless, as it so probably seems.

A friend recently got cornered into admitting something that I suspect a lot of us secretly think. When I asked him if he believed in God (the use of upper case is what got resolved after much deliberation and no substantial conclusion) he vehemently confirmed. Having been in the process of reading a book called The God Delusion (I still am) I was stongly inclined to atheistic views. So I confronted him with all the arguments I had so freshly been armed with against the existence of his deity. Whatever he said in his support, I had an argument against. Somewhere, though, the argument deviated to the difference between luck and coincidence. And somehow, the fact that some people are lucky, and some are not, lead to the God Conclusion. He, however, countered his own statement by saying ultimately that 'luck is just coincidence in your favour.' By the end of it, he gave up, (partly, as you shall soon see) and said, "Look, I know there is no God!.." (wait, its not over) "....but I use the concept as a tool to keep myself on the right track."
Said I, "When you know and admit that yourself, why would you need a 'tool'."
And then I heard the earlier statement again and again in different ways.
Are many of us closet atheists?

Quoting Richard Dawkins:
"We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further."
And then there were none.

Random Thought 2

[I make no claims about the profoundness of this post.. ;)]

Have you ever had to sneeze during a drive? From experience and from here, it's an involuntary reflex to close your eyes when you sneeze.

According to snopes.com, a certain Muriel Simmons from the British Allergy Foundation says that if you sneeze while driving at 70 mph, you will travel 300 feet with your eyes closed!

That's scary. Most of the time I manage to suppress the sneeze, but in the one-off case that I realise that's not going to happen, I stall until the road is reasonably clear ahead of me. Then 'sneeze'. And quickly resume safe open-eyed driving.

But then, apparently you can open your eyes and sneeze. Go here and check answer 4 to see how. For those who go not want to go there, here's what answer 4 says:

My sister sneezes with her eyes open. She will only do this when she drives because she is afraid of getting into an accident. She screams with she sneezes. And in doing this her eyes remain open. It is bizarre and I have tried it and it does indeed work. It sounds like a very loud screeching, inhumane sounding sneeze but it is a sneeze with ones eyes open.

I have to try this.

My Love n Hate Lists.

Pardon the negativity, but I'm going to begin this one with telling you things I hate. Well, maybe hate would be too strong a word. Its just that I have a problem with them. Then, as if to make up for it, I will tell you about things I like. So let us begin:

[Note: Do notice the difference when I say I dislike someone as opposed to someone doing something annoying.]
I dislike:
- Pretentious people (yeah, they're always someone else, not You :))
- Peas (yeah I do, I cannot think of any compelling reason why)
- Dieting (self-explanatory)
- Sleepless nights (tossing and turning, all with the realisation that you still have to get up at just the same time that you do everyday)
- (this I've mentioned on Orkut) People being unable to say 'I don't know, let's find out' or 'Maybe I'm wrong' ever in their lives
- People saying things that actually do not mean anything. And yet, they pretend that they made a lot of sense. And ironically, there's too many of these people around.
- Visits to the beauty parlour. (Yes I go, and no, they cannot transform you into a beautiful person. They can make you seem, well, cleaner, at the most. Yes, that is why I look the way I do, despite the fact that I go.)
- People not being open to the fact that their perception of something may be hugely different from its reality
- People not being able to appreciate silly but funny things in life. (Loosen up a bit will ya?)
- Household chores. (I manage to wriggle my way out of this way more often than I can safely not feel guilty for.)
- Getting out of bed earlier than required to exercise.
- Taking the stairs (its not a sin to want the elevator to work)
- Bad breath (okay, have your onions, but you don't have to let me know in such an obvious manner!)
(I'm getting a little worried that the list is this long and I know that I can go on much more)
- Bad spelling. This one is a little mean, but there are the obvious things that I wish people would take care about. Preety? And no, the writer did not mean a name.

I'll stop here. For my own good. Let's move on to the nicer things in life.
I like:
- Laughter and smiles that are genuine.
- Weekend siestas.
- Good food.
- Sitting with my family in our outer balcony-turned-room and talking about random things and each other.
- Meeting old friends. Having 'pajama parties' with them.
- Meeting present friends. Laughing, talking, having fun.
- Reading random articles and comic strips on the Net.
- Bedtime, especially when you're dog-tired after a long day.
- Dark chocolates.
- People who bring me dark chocolates ;)
- Singing a song that catches my fancy, again and again (and again!) This could get me on someone else's Dislike List.
- Listening to the same song about 20 times or more in a day till I tire of it and switch to another song.
- Writing in this blog.
- Seeing an increase in my site traffic. :)
- Praise. I am but human.
- Getting on chat, and finding the right people online ;)
- Long fun chats with these right people.
- Receiving a text message from someone dear after a long time.
- Ranting about things I don't like with someone I like and finding that they don't like them too!
- Giggling.
- Giggling while playing TT with Anitha ;)

I'm happy now that this list is longer than the first. Neither of them are by any means complete. But they say much of what I feel.

EDIT: I'm aware that much of what I've said could well get me on other hate lists, and much of what I do already has me on those lists. :) Well, we all have our vices.

"Yes please, and thank you very much!"

I like politeness. Period. People who are polite, people who say 'thank you', people who will smile when they see you and the likes. By smile-when-they-see-you, I'd like to mention that it's a given that a person you know must get the benefits of your smile. What about someone you don't know? Now I do not mean the absolute stranger you walk past on the road. I do mean a colleague you've never been introduced to, but know of. I do mean someone who stays near your house who you haven't spoken to, but each of you knows of the other's existence.

Indians, as a whole, are not very polite. One could argue that politeness should not be measured in terms of a 'thank you' or a 'please'. True, it is a very culturally biased method of examination. But have you actually not seen the following scenarios in India?
- Someone barging up and trying to get ahead in a long queue.
- [Some] men staring at women in the most unnerving manner.
- [My favourite topic: traffic] Honking beyond necessity, and rushing ahead to overtake with little regard for the vehicles at risk.
- Bumping into someone and rushing off without apologising.
- Answering a phone call mid-conversation without excusing oneself.
- Leaving a phone on loud during a presentation, or say, in the theatre.
- Answering that phone call and making your telephonic conversation known to all.
- Fiddling with the cell-phone while having a conversation with someone [I'm guilty of this one]
- Burping
- Lack of courtesy to, say, the cleaning staff, or the driver who drove you home.
- Chewing out loud (esp. in a presentation!)
.... and then there are some dirty habits that I'd just rather not go into at this point, lest a tirade be launched.

If any of you do any of the above things, firstly, welcome to the club. Secondly, I urge you to try getting out of this club as soon as possible! Really, not something to be a proud member of!

PS. A friend recently made me realise that I have this bad habit of calling out to people not by their names, but with a 'Tchh' sound. Point noted. I'm working on it.